A ( not so long ) post I'm going to write tonight .
A lot of things to say from the deepest of my heart .

By far , it has been such rough months for me . I used to be quite strong in handling tears but now not anymore .

Dear Faraheen , the eldest girl in family .
I still remember that night , before your solemnization ceremony , we slept together . It was hard at first for me to let you go . On your reception ,  you were the most beautiful bride i've ever seen in my life . You looked exactly like ibu .
I still remember when you told me that i was the cutest baby you've ever seen , now you have a baby who is really looks like me when i was little .
I still remember the day when you first had your heart broken with your first boyfriend , that time you were still in high school .
I still remember your face when you almost paralysed . You were only 22 y/o that time .. I cried myself to sleep almost everyday when you were still in the hospital .
I still remember when we used to share our bedroom together with Kak Tika when we were little . We used to fight most of the time .
I still remember when you were still single , whenever i ran out of nice clothes to go out with my friends , your closet was always a good choice/idea .

We shared so many secrets together .
I am really grateful for having a sister like you .
You're the one who knows me best , kakak .
I'd be lying if i say i'm not crying right now .

Thank you for always being there for me , especially these past few days . I love you kakak .



Dear Jua , the cousin i will go up to , to find a good advice .
We have grown up together .
You 're 3 years older than me but you're actually my niece .
I still remember when we were little i had my first asthma attack , you forced me to go to the clinic after the birthday party . I was intractable and hard headed , i told you i was fine , it was just a little asthma attack . But right after i reached home , my lungs seemed to be tighter than before . Terus teringat awak :(

These past few days , i realise that you've helped a lot  for me to be strong enough to face my problems .

But most of all , you've helped to carry on .

I guess , you know me quite well too . I love you , Jua . Forever , inshaAllah . I miss you .